As long as you keep giving narcissists your attention, energy, or obedience, they feel in control—and that makes them feel important.
But something powerful happens when you start waking up and begin to see through their lies. When you stop reacting to their games. When you set boundaries, speak up, or walk away. When the narcissist realizes they no longer have power over you, it shakes them to their core. You are no longer feeding their ego, and that makes them panic. You are no longer someone they can easily use, and that makes them feel weak. This is the moment where everything shifts—and not in a peaceful way.
This article will explore what really happens when a narcissist loses their grip on you. We’ll talk about the different ways they react, and why they do what they do.
#1: They will step over your boundaries.
Narcissists are intruders of personal space; they will invade your privacy once they sense they’re losing their grip on you. Psychologists say it’s like a power move. Psychologist Dr. Romani Dervasula explains that narcissists feel the need to dominate. So, imagine your boundaries as a fence: narcissists are not afraid to jump it, stomp on it, or even tear it down. It’s all about pushing limits to keep the upper hand. Remember, you’re not the problem, but their desire to control. Setting and sticking to your boundaries is critical when dealing with these boundary-busting individuals.
#2: They will tarnish your image.
Narcissists will try to ruin your image when they lose control of you. Picture it like a tabloid headline, but in real life. Be prepared for a smear campaign. Psychologists suggest that this behavior stems from their need for dominance and fear of losing influence. A narcissist might attempt to damage your reputation as a way to regain a sense of power and superiority. When narcissists feel threatened, they resort to attacking the character of those they perceive as a threat. It’s like dealing with a magician who pulls out a bag of rumors instead of rabbits to divert attention from their insecurities.
#3: They will keep their silence against you.
When narcissists feel like they’re losing their grip on the situation, they tend to zip it. They go silent on you; it’s like their way of hitting the pause button on a conversation or a relationship. Psychologists say this is because losing control feels like losing their top-dog status. So brace yourself for the silent treatment. Experts in the psyche game point out that silence can be a weapon for narcissists. It’s not just about enjoying the quiet, but making you feel the void. They make you anxious and uncertain; the silence is their way of saying, “I’m in charge here.” It’s like a psychological game of tug-of-war—the silence is their way of pulling the rope back to their side.
#4: They will project their insecurities on you.
Imagine you’re dealing with a narcissist. Suddenly, they’re losing their grip on you. They’ve got this emergency escape plan called projection. Psychologists compare it to a magician’s smoke-and-mirrors trick. Instead of owning up to their insecurities, they pull off a slick move: they throw those feelings of inadequacy onto you. Now, suddenly, you’re the one wearing the villain hat, facing accusations the narcissists are secretly guilty of. It’s like a crazy mind game they play to avoid looking bad. Experts who’ve delved into the labyrinth of narcissistic behavior shed some light on this projection thing; it’s a safety net for them because heaven forbid a narcissist admits they’re not perfect. So they sling those feelings of flaw and vulnerability your way, hoping you’ll catch them like a human shield.
#5: They will attempt to isolate you.
When narcissists lose their grip on you, they will try to cut you off from your support squad. Psychologists point out that this is like their last-ditch effort to keep you under their influence. It’s not just about being possessive; it’s a strategy to make you dependent on them alone. Experts suggest this isolation tactic can make it harder to see the situation clearly and seek help. They want to create a bubble where they’re the only voice you hear. It makes it easier for them to control the narrative and manipulate you. It might be a red flag if you notice someone messing with your social connections; they might not just be a little clingy but exhibiting some narcissistic behavior.
#6: They will show extreme emotional reactions.
When a narcissist feels their grip on control slipping, they tend to crank up the emotional volume. It’s like a volume knob that goes from 0 to 10 in a split second. Psychologists often say that this exaggerated response is a defense mechanism. When narcissists sense a loss of control, their intense emotional displays serve as a way to intimidate and manipulate. They attempt to reestablish dominance in the relationship. It’s like their emotional thermostat goes haywire; suddenly, you’re dealing with a whirlwind of dramatic reactions. So when the emotional theatrics kick in, it’s a signal that the narcissist is desperately trying to regain the upper hand.
#7: They will undermine your confidence.
Psychologists say narcissists might start undermining your confidence if they lose control of you. They’ll take shots at your achievements or make a hobby out of criticizing you. They’re trying to keep you on this roller coaster of self-doubt to stay in the driver’s seat. This undermining tactic keeps you dependent on them; they’re creating a narrative where you question your abilities. It makes it easier for them to call the shots. It’s a tricky game, and understanding it can help you see through the smoke and mirrors these narcissists throw up.
#8: They will play the victim.
Picture this: narcissists start painting themselves as the unfortunate soul. It’s as if they bear the brunt of life’s hardships. Psychologists say this is like a desperate card in their deck, played when they’re about to lose control. They aim to tug at your heartstrings by playing the victim; they hope you’ll feel sorry for them. It’s a cunning maneuver to reel you back in. They’re like a master puppeteer pulling emotional strings. When a narcissist adopts the victim role, it’s not just a random act but a calculated strategy. They employ a kind of emotional jiu-jitsu, a manipulative move to turn the tables in their favor. They’re trying to reverse the power dynamic by casting themselves as the suffering party.
#9: They will employ triangulation tactics.
Imagine you’re in a friendship or relationship with a narcissist. Suddenly, things get all tangled up. When a narcissist feels like they’re losing control over you, they play a trick called triangulation. It’s like adding a third wheel to a bicycle; suddenly, things aren’t moving smoothly. The narcissist introduces someone else into the picture. They do this to stir tension and make it feel like a competition for their attention. Psych experts note that this tactic helps narcissists regain the upper hand and keep things on their terms. They create a power play that can mess with your head. So if you are in this web of triangles, find your way out. It’s the narcissist’s way of trying to keep the game in their favor.
#10: They will attempt to regain your favor.
When narcissists start feeling like they’re losing their grip on you, it’s like they hit panic mode. Suppose you decide to step back or set some boundaries. The narcissist pulls out the big guns. Psychologists say it’s a classic move. Fearing abandonment, narcissists flip a switch and turn on the charm. It’s like a sudden burst of generosity and sweetness. They’re not doing it out of the kindness of their hearts, though; it’s more of a strategic move to pull you back into their orbit.
Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging. They might show undesirable behaviors when they lose control of you. Stay strong, set boundaries, and focus on your well-being. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to regaining control of your life. If you notice these signs, trust your instincts and take steps to protect yourself. It’s your life, and you have the power to steer it in the right direction.
Read More: 4 Things Narcissists Never Get Over.
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