It probably took time to realize that you’re dating a self-absorbed, narcissistic person. Whether you’re broken off the relationship or not, you may be curious if your ex-partner is in deep sorrow for letting go of someone like you. Do narcissists feel regret at all?
Here are 10 ways a narcissist acts when they regret losing you.
#1: They can’t stop thinking of the things you contribute to their relationship.
Do you ever wonder why they wanted to keep you in the relationship? It is because of what you do for them and what you always put up with to let them lead their relationship. It has very little to do with who you are as a person, which triggered the idea that they want you back.
Narcissists love how you are so obsessed with them and for always being there to help them. But when your value doesn’t serve them any longer, they will eliminate you. However, time will pass, and they begin searching for the attention and things that you have contributed to the relationship. They cannot stop thinking about it, which means the things you usually do are not you, precisely as a lover. That is when they start having these regretful feelings of losing you. They’ll keep thinking about what they lost by letting you go and wish to have you back so that the things you often make or sacrifice will benefit them once more.
#2: They feel distressed as if they have lost a valuable supply.
They may have been thinking about you for days or months after you parted ways, wishing you would get back with them. This will make them feel distressed. They believe they have lost the valuable supply in their lives, feeling instability and insecurity for not having you around. For example, your narcissist always acts depending on you in all necessary endeavors for survival, since you’re good at it. They made you believe that doing things for them reflects how much you are willing to sacrifice for them. However, when you finally see the repetitive patterns of narcissistic personality disorder, you courageously decide to let go. When that happens, they’ll not be at ease, but no one would be able to do that for them. They feel stressed because it’s as if their supply has dried up, and no one is around to replenish it for them.
#3: They try to find a replacement.
It’s common for people to find a replacement to move on from a former relationship. These people would like to feel loved again after the pain inflicted by their exes. However, for narcissists, the main reason they will try to find a replacement is not to receive love, caring and attention, but rather to get a new innocent partner that they could suck benefits from. They’ll try to find someone new in search of the qualities you used to offer them. If they find a new one, they’ll try to see you in their new partner and expect them to provide the same services you endlessly gave them. It’ll take some time until they realize they can never find you in anybody else’s presence. This realization will hit them and make them suffer, but they will still be in denial about wanting you back.
#4: They let you think they are more than happy not having you around.
Narcissistic people ignore the feeling of inferiority; they always want to feel superior and make others believe they’re right. Thus, even regretful feelings will often translate to pretensions to show they were not regretful. Therefore, they will act as if they don’t need you and are more than happy about your absence. Observe how they will post on social media, telling everybody else that they are utterly fine and stable. They might even pose with their new partner, but don’t be deceived by it. Whether these are just an act or not, they want to show you that they’re happy. You should not care that you’re much more comfortable without them troubling your life. Remember that.
#5: They send you random messages to test whether you still give them attention.
People with narcissistic personality disorder always feel sufficient of the attention you give them. So now that your relationship has ended, the experience of attention deficit will lead them to send you a random message or email to check if you will respond. Remember, this is not because they miss you; it’s just because they miss the attention you once gave them.
#6: They keep blaming you for why the relationship has ended.
Genuine people who have deep regrets about losing you reflect on specific reasons why you left in the first place. They will undoubtedly see their flaws and mistakes and feel sorry for whatever damage they have caused you. Do you believe that narcissists see their faults? That would be a big resonating no. They don’t see their flaws; their thoughts of your mistakes and your insufficiency to make their relationship work cloud their minds. From time to time, they’ll talk to others about you and spread stories that would make you the villain in their relationship. They do this as a cover-up for the regret of losing someone like you because they don’t want others to think they’re defeated.
#7: They keep you on their radar to know your whereabouts.
Narcissists are just like ordinary people who want to know what their exes are up to nowadays. Do they follow and stalk you on every social media platform? Do they ask those close to you in proximity or intimacy what you are doing? Do they even send you a message on how you are? They would find every single means to know your current situation. Why? Because they want to check how you are after the breakup. They would like to see whether you’re happy or just as miserable as they are. Narcissists are selfish individuals; what they want is just to feed their egocentric self. Therefore, they don’t want to see you happy without them in your life.
#8: They try to win you back through manipulative tactics.
They may be first in denial about wanting you back and trying to enter into a relationship with a new one, but when all of these attempts fail, they will crawl back to you. Do you still remember how they manipulated you while you were in a relationship? They may use those tactics again to win your trust back. They will look for a way to reach back to you, whether it be through texts, emails, or phone calls. Once you respond, they will continue to communicate and try to rebuild the connection you once had.
The situation worsens when you agree to meet with them again. They may try to use love bombing, wherein they will bring you gifts or flowers and do some grandiose things to make you feel special and loved. Be careful, because when you take the bait and allow them to enter your life again, they will ensure to make your life more miserable than before.
#9: They make you feel sorry for leaving the relationship.
Narcissists do not feel sorry, nor do they want to apologize for their bad behavior. They believe they were the victims. Thus, instead of being sorry for the trauma they have caused, they will do things that will make you feel sorry. Maybe they will try to talk about how miserable they were when you left and how terrified they were upon knowing they will never be loved the same way you have loved them. They will do such things to squeeze compassion out of you, making you think that you’re the only one they need and the only one who can love them.
#10: They promise to change so that you will come back.
They want you back in their lives. The moment they get to have communication with you, they would not only spoil you with gifts in the beginning but also make promises that they will be better the second time around. You would be wrong if you think they acknowledged where they have fallen short. They will say good things to you, act sorry, ask for forgiveness, and make promises, but all those things are just to pretend that they are changing and to continue to change to have you back. They want what you can offer—they want your body, wealth, and connections rather than your genuine soul and intention. That is why you must be careful not to allow the leech to suck the blood out of you. You should get rid of them now.
The regret narcissists feel is not related to losing a warm-hearted and genuine person like you, but losing the things they can get from you. Thus, it would help if you were careful not to fall for their vicious behavior wrapped in a changed persona they are portraying. Because once you let them get to you again, the same mental rollercoaster tragedy will occur, and it’ll be difficult for you to be free. You already freed yourself from them, and now it’s time to be wise enough to be distant and to give yourself a chance for a more peaceful life outside their world.
Read More: 10 Signs You’re Dealing With Narcissistic Abuse.
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